“Swerps” and Contraception

Firstly – to while away the dull hours Rob has invented a new game … It’s called “Swerps”
Defined as such: Swear + Burp equals SWERP.

You have to see how many swear words you can incorporate into a burp. It’s quite amusing, as I managed to get one off at a recent Family BBQ and no-one but Rob noticed! (I consequently nearly wet myself laughing, but it was worth it!)

This new game initiated a discussion on exactly how many swear words existed … I think we only came up with a small number, because other words commonly used are actual body parts, so we decided that they could not be included…, for example “dick head” could not be one as it refers to 2 body parts. If you added in a word starting with “F” then that becomes a swear word. – “Farken Dick Head”
“Shit” is a bodily function, and if you really wanted to get technical, “C” is also a body part, so that really only leave words starting with “F” that are followed by “uck”.

That’s one thing I like about Rob … conversations are never ever dull!

Which brings me to the next topic that is the forefront of my tiny brain … Contraception.

My sister, who recently became a mother for the first time.
Mum has been helping out, and she was meant to be staying with me on weekends… well, the first weekend of ‘respite’ ended on Fri, she was back at Kath’s on Sat night. I think she has only had one full weekend staying at the Bundy-lo.
Anyway, last night she was staying with me. We had a delicious tea and went to the movies … Miami Vice (more about that later)

Anyho, the phone rings at 3.15am. Snippets of conversation “have you called an ambulance” by this time I am up and semi-dressed….
They have already had one trip in to the hospital in her short life… some rash that spread very quickly, turns out it was nothing to be concerned about. I remember the mid wife saying something about a possible “milk rash”
back to last night.
Alicia is not having the best time with getting the hang of sleeping and she incorporates a lot of screaming and crying into this etc. Which I think is a bit of colic and possible lactose intolerance. Well last night they called mum (why you would not call the hospital first I don’t know, it may have to do with the minimal sleep they are getting) as Alicia had blood in her nappy. Panic stations ahead.

So, mum is awake, I am awake, Rob snores louder.
This is a very good example of why it is very bloody handy for both adults to have a drivers licence!
Kath has had bugger all sleep, slightly concerned by the situation, not able to focus enough on driving and would/could possibly have some sort of accident trying to get to a hospital. Meanwhile Bro-in Law stands around.

Well, they got an ambulance, and then bloody Kath follows it in the car … for farks sake.

GET A BLOODY LICENCE MIKE! STOP BEING SELFISH! What happens when both Mother and Daughter are ill…. ???? Have a think about it. You can’t be calling an ambulance all the time. They don’t have a reward program you know!

Ok, I am off my box now.
Turns out, Alicia has a small fissure – which was missed by one Dr, but found by another with a keener eye. So some kiddie panadol and all is well. Apparently she has settled down considerably and is sleeping like …well, like a baby.

All this makes me realise what an excellent job you mothers do, and put up with .... and I suppose Fathers to. But the other part of me is petrified to do the same thing, and there has been some discussion to time lines for this sort of thing in our house recently. Am I ever going to be ready for this???