Dear Dog....

We had Puppy school last night, and our normal trainer was not there, as they were short she had to take another class, anyway, we got our first trainer back, she rubs Rob and I both up the wrong way a bit.
We had to endure her in the first class as the Rotty club have a policy where you have to graduate all classes in order to progress, so Bert and Harvey the Labrador were very very bored, and she thought they were a bit ‘naughty’ I did try to explain that he (and Harvey) had already been to other obedience classes so they were just repeating stuff…

So when I got this, this morning I did laugh quite a bit and think to myself so true!



Dear Dog,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this.
Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.
Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog’s butt. I cannot stress this enough!